Amuse Heidie

Everyythang. A look into life through my teeth. My interests are as vast as oceans and vary, like butts. -Heidie

jeffrubinjeffrubin:

“It’s like doing SNL in a different city every week, no reruns, no off-season, and just the Monday show is 3 hours.”

- Comedian Matt McCarthy on his time writing for the WWE on this week’s Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show.

Matt is one my absolute favorite comedians, and he recently spent about a year writing for the WWE. On this week’s podcast we discuss what exactly that entails, how he got the job, and what it’s like to work for Vince McMahon.

One of my favorite parts of the episode is when Matt talks about how pro-wrestling has influenced everything from comedy to Muhammad Ali to Bob Dylan. I think this is an interesting listen, even if you’re not into the WWE.

Matt’s stand-up CD Come Clean is on iTunes, and his videos with Front Page Films (including the Badman series) are everywhere.

The Jeff Rubin Jeff Rubin Show comes out Tuesdays on iTunes, YouTube, and JeffRubinJeffRubinShow.com.

Dudes, check it.

(via collegehumor)

ianbrooks:

Surreal Fantasy Portraits by Elena Zanotti / cunene

It takes style, talent, and just a light dipping of the toes into the macabre to create Elena’s gorgeous and fantastical portraits. Adding to her multi-talented barrage, Elena also crafts tiny hats and jewelry which are modeled in her photos before the sprinkling of some digital prestidigitation. Check out her Etsy for her line of fashionable steampunkwear.

Artist: Behance / Website

limecrime:

Drooling over Velvetines? Best-selling matte glosses are coming back in stock tomorrow, Jan 9, at noon PST! limecrimemakeup.com

Some one get me this! Late Christmas present?

limecrime:

Drooling over Velvetines? Best-selling matte glosses are coming back in stock tomorrow, Jan 9, at noon PST! limecrimemakeup.com

Some one get me this! Late Christmas present?

THIS!

  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting 1 live cow, you get 2,485,506 dead cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Homestuck: you have two cows- wait no, now they're dead.
  • <p> OMG. our AP Euro teacher gave us this as our last resort for knowing anything on our test.I am reblogging this simply for Maggie to see.</p>
robot-heart-politics:

stoneagechronicles:


Outrage in Delaware  (ed: understatement of the young year)



This picture is from a Milford, Delaware playground.  Milford is in Southern Delaware in the very conservative Sussex County.  I originally saw this picture on Facebook, from a liberal friend downstate, who was sharing it via an original posting of the very nonliberal Dan Gaffney, a conservative talk show radio host.   It is nice to know that the outrage concerning this photo is bipartisan.  And what is so outrageous about it, you ask?
Well, you can read what it says in English.   In Spanish it says (paraphrasing) “You have to have a permit to play here or you will be arrested.”    The english version contains no information about needing a permit or else you will be subject to police action.   It is an obvious intimidation tactic and a not so subtle “Whites Only” sign.  


Read more
And, no, it’s not Photoshopped. The sign is indeed real.





“You have to have a permit to play in this park. Violators are subject to police action.”  





People need to see this shit.

robot-heart-politics:

stoneagechronicles:

Outrage in Delaware  (ed: understatement of the young year)

This picture is from a Milford, Delaware playground.  Milford is in Southern Delaware in the very conservative Sussex County.  I originally saw this picture on Facebook, from a liberal friend downstate, who was sharing it via an original posting of the very nonliberal Dan Gaffney, a conservative talk show radio host.   It is nice to know that the outrage concerning this photo is bipartisan.  And what is so outrageous about it, you ask?

Well, you can read what it says in English.   In Spanish it says (paraphrasing) “You have to have a permit to play here or you will be arrested.”    The english version contains no information about needing a permit or else you will be subject to police action.   It is an obvious intimidation tactic and a not so subtle “Whites Only” sign.  

Read more

And, no, it’s not Photoshopped. The sign is indeed real.

“You have to have a permit to play in this park. Violators are subject to police action.”  

People need to see this shit.

(via oldfilmsflicker)

inothernews:

candobetterthanthat:

iamtheisabella:

I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS.
ALL THE ROAD TRIPS I WAS WAITING

Savour the moment. They’re never ever ever getting back together.

Q:  What happened to the motorist who took this picture while driving?
A:  She got in trouble, trouble, trouble.


Come on, clearly she is the lucky one

inothernews:

candobetterthanthat:

iamtheisabella:

I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS.

ALL THE ROAD TRIPS I WAS WAITING

Savour the moment. They’re never ever ever getting back together.

Q:  What happened to the motorist who took this picture while driving?

A:  She got in trouble, trouble, trouble.

Come on, clearly she is the lucky one

(Source: victorlandia)

georgetakei:

This one had me Rolling with laughter. Sorry friends.

georgetakei:

This one had me Rolling with laughter. Sorry friends.